[Intro: German Moderator]
Ich mag nicht fünfzigste Celebrity Apprenta!
Meet new host Arnold Schwarzenegger!
[Intro: Arnold Schwarzenegger]
Mr. Bieber, why’d your team lose?
[Intro: Justin Bieber]
[Intro: Arnold Schwarzenegger]
No excuses! Off to the gas chamber!
Now for paid political advertising
[Verse 1: Donald Trump]
Look, I’m rich as hell from my real estate and sale of shirts
I wish this president would give us better health insurance
I’ll build a wall, just got taller with a better view
I’ll build the Mexicans who make good money from cocaine
I just sold the billion hats
If you even blink I just sold a billion more, it’s for charity!
My name’s Donnie Trump and I’m orange and pink
My name’s Donnie Trump for prez 2016
That’s my name, okay! It’s on my birth certificate!
We’re gonna bring down crime
We’ll keeps cops guns and ?????? braced (I love cops!)
I’ll build a wall so big that’ll keep all of the spics out
We’re gonna bring back jobs (Jobs, jobs!)
It’ll be so great!
I’ll build a wall so big that you’ll say
“Donald, it’s too big! Can you bring it a few feet down?”
Believe me. I know walls
I went to the best schools. The best
I got perfect marks. Perfect
My teachers said: “Donald, your marks are too high for us!”
“Could you get a few answers wrong?”
Sometimes certain people talk about a certain Trump
They probably do it so their ratings start going up
They say: “Who could we invite on the show?”
“The low ratings here are killing us! We probably should invite Trump!”
Look at the numbers. I have the best polls
Best ?????? in my own Trump suit and tie
Oh look behind me, it’s Hillary and Sanders
If you faggots come from Mexico you have to take a ladder
Who’s this curry-face in charge with Al-Qaeda links? (Look, who is this guy?)
I’ll send him back through immigration to find out what language he speaks
Ma’a salama ding dong, motherfucker!
Look, I love black guys (And blacks love me!)
I think blacks are great
I love Hispanic things like taco salad by the roadside!
We’re in a big decline (Cline, cline!)
I’ll make this country great
So we could have nice things like snacks and cheese and crackers (It’s great, yeah!)
I used to host the Apprentice, it was on every Sunday
We will build a couple things and give each a different name
And everyone of them competed back and that’ll let them stay
See in which one could make the most money for me
Now I’m travelling around the country with my friends
Saying things people like to hear about Mexicans
Please, take a MAGA hat and wear it, that is your donation
Thanks, I don’t even take money (Laugh)
When this world is mine (Mine, mine)
I’ll build a wall in space
And everyone will see that my penis is a pretty big cock (I guarantee that!)
I don’t like China (Na, na)
Although the food is great (It’s great!)
And those Chinese chinks have a big wall to keep the spics out
I love Mexicans. The Mexicans love me
I love Mexicans. I love Mexicans. Trust me
I get along with them. I get along with everybody
So vote for your good friend Donnie
[Outro: Arnold Schwarzenegger]
And if you don’t vote Trump, you’ll be rounded up today
Folded onto a train and sent off to vacation
There you will be taught the correct way to vote
All thanks to my good friend Donnie