The Tale Of Tom Tattertall Tuttletut
Herbert Birdsfoot: The next letter after “S” is “T”.
“The Tale of Tom Tattertall Tuttletut.”
Once upon a time, there was a queen who hated the letter “T”.
Queen: I’ve never liked the horrid “tuh-tuh” sound. So I hereby rule that nothing beginning with the letter “T” will ever allowed in my kingdom.
Herbert Birdsfoot: So the people of the land tore down the towns and their towers, tossing out their trumpets and toys. And pretty soon, there wasn’t anything in the kingdom that began with “T”. Or so they thought, for one day, along came…
Tom: Me. Tom Tattertall Tuttletut. And I’ve got a truckful of turtles, tea, tuna, toads, teddy bears, and trash.
Queen: What did you say?
Man: Hi, your majesty. Do you want to buy a tuba or a ton of tomatoes?
Queen: Throw this man into the dungeon!
Tom: But why?
Queen: Because those are all “T” words. And nothing starting with “T” is allowed in my kingdom.
Tom: Untrue! There’s lots of things beginning with “T” around here.
Queen: Like what?
Tom: Well, for one thing, there’s the king over there.
Queen: What about him?
Tom: He’s wearing trousers, and that’s a terrific “T” word.
Queen: Uh, well, he always told me they were pants.
Tom: And then there’s you, your majesty. You keep talkin’ and talkin’, tellin’ me things by usin’ your tongue and your teeth. And those are terrific “T” words, too!
Queen: Gracious! You’re right. There’s no way of getting away from the letter “T”. Tom Tattertall Tuttletut, from now on, “T” words are welcome in my kingdom.
Herbert Birdsfoot: So the letter “T” was restored to the land, and so were the town’s towers, the trumpets and the toys, which all goes to prove that you can’t get away from the letter “T”.